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старые шутки
movie
prime12


Феодализм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Ваш сюзерен берет часть молока.

Социализм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство забирает одну и отдаёт её кому - то еще.

Коммунизм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство забирает обеих и даёт Вам столько молока, сколько Вам необходимо.

Бюрократический Коммунизм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство забирает обеих и даёт Вам столько молока, сколько Вам необходимо, в соответствии с утверждёнными на этот год нормами.

Бюрократия:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство указывает Вам, чем Вы имеете право их кормить, когда и каким образом Вы можете их доить. Оно запрещает Вам продавать молоко. Через некоторое время государство забирает обеих коров, убивает одну из них, доит другую и выливает молоко в реку. После этого от Вас требуют, чтобы Вы представили по 16 заверенных нотариусом форм учёта на каждую отсутствующую корову.

Фашизм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство забирает обеих и продает Вам молоко.

Нацизм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство забирает обеих, а Вас расстреливают.

Либерализм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Государство не волнует, существуете ли Вы, не говоря уже о ваших коровах.

Капитализм:
У Вас есть две коровы. Вы продаете одну из них и покупаете быка.



How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the bulb and the other to assume the existence of a ladder.

How many Chicago School Economists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it!

How many liberal economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A baker's dozen. One to change the bulb and a dozen others to make sure that everyone has an equal opportunity to apply for the job.

How many econ grad students does it take to change a light bulb?
One. She is writing her dissertation on the economics of light bulbs, and she'll have an answer for you in 5 years.


How many neo-classical economists does it take to change a light bulb?
It depends on the wage rate.

How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.
A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
A4. None. "There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place.
A5. None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter !!!
A6. None; they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.

How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.


How many investors does it take to change a light bulb?
None - the market has already discounted the change.

How many Keynesian economists does it takes to change a light bulb?
All. Because then you will generate employment, more consumption, dislocating the AD (agg. demand) to the right,...

How many Trotskyists does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Smash it!

How many central bank economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Just one -- he holds the lightbulb and the whole earth revolves around him.

How many marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None - the bulb contains within it the seeds of its own revolution.



Economist poem
If you do some acrobatics
with a little mathematics
it will take you far along.
If your idea's not defensible
don't make it comprehensible
or folks will find you out,
and your work will draw attention
if you only fail to mention
what the whole thing is about.

Your must talk of GNP
and of elasticity
of rates of substitution
and undeterminate solution
and oligonopopsony.

Kenneth E. BOULDING